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Issue 1: In this issue Advice to a Would-be Entrepreneur |
Open Letter
This is to all of you
To the blonde twin sisters Boarding the 9:15 to Waterloo Last Thursday Who smiled in unison When I pretended I wasn't looking,
And to the Sisters of Mercy Of the Holy Order Of Our Lady of Redemption, In Chiswick.
To the girl on page twelve Of the Winter 2004 edition Of Sainsbury's magazine, Which I have kept And framed,
And to the girl in the TV ad For Stumpy's Cake Decoration Emporium, Which I have recorded And watch on 'Repeat'.
To the woman In the 'Play With My Puppies' T-shirt In Pets-R-Us On Friday,
And to the woman Behind the fruit and veg counter Of Allsop's Family Grocer, Who always wore her hair In bunches.
To the lady in the business suit On the bus to Wigan, Who crossed her stockinged legs 37 times in 12 minutes,
And to the lady in the changing rooms Of Lacey's Department Store, Who, by an unfortunate coincidence of mirrors, Caused such a stir In the Men's Trouser Department.
To all of you, And to countless others, I am truly sorry.
Andy Proudfoot
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