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When I'm on my way to a wedding
With a couple of other guys,
Why oh why is it always I
That the lunatic sailor spies?

He once was a soul in peril,
Adrift on an icy sea,
Thrown for a loss by an albatross
(Lord, why is it always me?)

He pours out a pack of nonsense
Which I am condemned to hear,
Till his tale is told and the banquet's cold
And the bartender's out of beer.