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Most people can talk with a finger,
Most people can shout with a thumb
‘Cause digit-tip-typing whole sentences
Proves you must be pretty dumb.

Tap rapid-fire on your cell phone
Memos misspelled from the start
‘Cause spelling with just a few letters
Proves you must be pretty smart.

The telephone hangs in the kitchen
Collecting dust, so I am told,
‘Cause using the phone is so yesterday
And proves you must really be old.