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(With apologies to T. H.)

Bill Hook was owner of The Bear,
    But ended up in court,
For when he found the hours too long,
    He drank, and made them short.

They took his licence back, and asked
    The reason he was there –
So then the landlord bared his soul,
    Before he sold The Bear.

His quick decline ensued, then death
    Since, as the doctor stated,
‘The toughest flesh goes that way, if
    The spirit's methylated.’

Oh now, about this time, he walks
    The scene of all his trouble –
A warning to the wise glimpsed once,
    And twice the strength seen double.