I didn’t go to work today
because I was really tired
but I knew I couldn’t phone in sick
or else I would be fired.
I also knew my colleagues
wouldn’t care if I were dead
so I dressed the cat in a suit and tie
and sent him to work instead
then took myself to bed.
At half-past five, the usual time,
he sauntered through the door
with a rolled-up newspaper under his arm
and my wage slip in his pocket.
Smiling smugly, he explained
that we had been promoted.
Because of our hard work today,
the boss knew we were devoted .
and our efforts had been noted.
Every morning at 8 o’clock
I wave him off at the door
then hole up in the living room
and roll around on the floor.
Sometimes I turn the heating up
and curl up on the mat,
gently doze the day away
slowly getting fat
like a tubby tabby cat.