Chris O’ Carroll: Ode to a Bat
You can eat your own weight in mosquitoes every day.
I tried that one time. Things really didn’t go my way.
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Elizabeth Horrocks: A Selector Muses
"We need a good keeper – Ben Foakes?
And a steady all-rounder –Chris Woakes?
But the star of the show,
As I think we all know,
Will be match-winning wizard Ben Stokes."
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Max Gutmann: High The Roof Beam
Boistery-cloistery
J. D (avid) Salinger
Sued his biographer
For the affront
Done him by publishing.
Over-elaborate
Privacy ploy, or pub–
Licity stunt?
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Colin McKim: Hitchens Redux
Wiseacre Christopher Hitchens
Could never buy in to relitchens.
Far too empirical
To fall for a miracle,
He branded them all superstitchens.
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Terese Coe: Psychopaths
They’ll always default to their worst perversions
when armed and loaded for brutal excursions.
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L. A. Mereoie: Tower Of Strength
"Tolworth Tower Surbiton Surrey KT6 7DX.
Animal Health Branch 111C . . . dealing with . . .
Bull approvals: Semen imports: Boar assessments:
Stallion licensing . . . has moved to the 10th
floor at the above address." - Circular
Results that were quite hard to shift
Once caused a most serious rift
Between Tolworth's tenth floor
And a breeder whose boar
Misbehaved coming up in the lift.
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Alex Steelsmith: Sain’t
Quibbily-squabbily,
Emperor Constantine
is, to some modern-day
Christians, a saint;
others see christening
Constantinopolis
after himself as a
sign that he ain’t.
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Jerome Betts: Mitral Enosis
Milord bishop, who Brylcreemed his mitre,
Insisted, “Since cleaning, it’s tighter! . . ."
To read the whole text
Requires that you next
Employ grease on the palm of the writer.
