L. A. Mereoie: Newts in May
As ponds accept the season’s guests –
Striated heads like thrushes’ breasts,
Glimpses of tiny gold-rimmed eyes
Or skins in crested breeding guise –
For some, the thought of springtime jars,
Without such orange-bellied stars
And though birds tempt as rival suitors,
They stick to being happy newters.
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Tony Peyser: Romance In Wodehouse
Gussie Fink-Nottle loves newts in tanks.
Bingo Little loves Rosie M. Banks.
Aunt Agatha loves McIntosh, her Aberdeen Terrier.
Watkyn Bassett loves his silver (the more the merrier.)
Florence Kray loves no one disagreeing with her.
Jeeves loves knowing all about Eulalie Soeurs.
Stinker Pinker loves thinking Stiffy Byng is his gal.
Bertie Wooster loves always helping out a pal.
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Susan McLean: Roomba
A Roomba, watched, does not inspire
strong confidence in its precision,
but bumps, deflects, and doesn’t tire,
persisting with no supervision.
It sweeps the room erratically,
appearing bound to miss a spot,
but, as with God, you’re forced to be
trusting that it – in time – will not.
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Rumi Morkin: Final Journey
I will travel light
no suitcase
no toothbrush;
where I'm going
they have everything
I will need -
except postcards
to send home.
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Russel Winick: Clueless
It rarely is appropriate
To tell folks what to do,
Especially before you’ve learned
What they are going through.
To base opinions just on factors
Relevant to you,
Might mean you’re giving out advice
Where you don’t have a clue.
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Paul Willis: Sticky Notes
The sticky notes upon my desk
remind me of my tasks to do.
They flap in rows and shout, grotesque,
a never-ending, raucous crew.
O sticky notes, O sticky notes,
I hear you and I will obey.
But first I must go feel my oats
instead of dully making hay.
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Tony Inchley: If only I could fly
The day our gifts were handed out
Did God think “Well now, hang about,
To humans I’ve awarded words,
I’m sure that wings will fit the birds."
It would be such a welcome plus
Not to need the local bus,
And, in a hurry, I could cry,
“Is that the time? Wow, I must fly”.
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Felicia Nimue Ackerman: I’ve Been Good
"I've been good," you proudly told me,
So I asked what you had done.
Did you brighten someone's day with
A delightful little pun?
When you saw your neighbor crying,
Did you try to heal the hurt?
"None of that," is what you answered,
"But I didn't eat dessert."
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Pat D’Amico: A Hex On All Hackers
May your fingers get cramps, your computer lose amps
And your mouse sprout a fungal condition.
May digestive distress leave your clothes in a mess
And your mind with diminished cognition.
When you’re starting to hack, may you sit on a tack
As a fitting and fair retribution.
May the rashes you hatch see you burn, itch and scratch
Till you’re caught and must face prosecution.
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L. A. Mereoie: Cooks Begin At Calais
Dear skylark, stay, and do not yield
To thoughts of pastures new;
Some corner of a foreign field
Might prove your Waterloo.
Birds of your kind are safer here
With PROs like Shelley;
Abroad, your music charms the ear
But you yourself, the belly.
