First take this frail machinery and lubricate where rusty;
there are far too many cobwebs, so polish what is dusty.
As I approach my sell-by date and circuits need rewiring;
here’s a list of things required before this body starts expiring.
I’d like the muscles of an athlete, Dame Kelly Holmes will do.
Increase my height to five feet ten, add Stephen Fry’s IQ,
Nigella Lawson’s hands, she’s a goddess who can cook,
a garden-guru, world class lover, a J K Rowling book.
I love Noel Fitzpatrick’s Supervet and he’s my ideal male
but to get his full attention I’ll want four paws and a tail.
I’d like the style of Mary Portas, her flaming auburn hair,
the elegance of William’s Kate, the charm of Fred Astaire
Give me energy by Duracell, so I’m that switched on bunny
and the voice of Alan Rickman, a lemon twist with honey,
the eyes of David Attenborough, think of what he’s seen . . .
Regenerate this Doctor Who, she’d love a time machine!