Tom Vaughan: Trafalgar Square
Unpatriotic pigeons crap
on Nelson’s noble head –
am I the only one who thinks
they should be shot, not fed?
Why not install upon his hat
a plastic bird instead?
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Bruce McGuffin: 12 O’Clock High
I grew up on TV like 12 O'clock High,
And I suffer from flashbacks whenever I fly.
At least I'm not eating C-rations, it's great
That I got a free coke with this costly cheese plate.
The view is delightful, I don't mind the racket.
I just wish I had on a cool leather jacket.
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Paul Van Peenen: Whoops!
Houston we’ve got a problem she quipped
as our kissers misaligned, slipped
from the lips and landed awry
my chin wet, my lips dry
not the best of starts she said
I agreed. We shook hands instead.
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J. R. Solonche: Scarament Sacrament
It was in a poem
about going to church.
It was the most
frightening
typographical
error I ever saw.
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Chris Bullard: Antlers
A set of really big ones,
save for their display
in the rites of courtship,
just gets in the way
although lions
find them useful to grip.
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Robin Helweg-Larsen: Poetic Tours de Force
We aim to sing
Boldly as the brave acrobat on his thin string
Across the air.
But yet, no matter how we juggle words and dare,
And think ourselves stupendous,
We’re risking nothing . . . we’re no Flying Wallendas.
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Bill Holloway: Ichneumonism
Ichneumon wasps parasitise
The young of Large White butterflies,
When they are juicy, fat, and green;
What happens next is quite obscene -
Rather than give you sleepless nights,
I'll hide the fate of those small whites.
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Wendy Videlock: Remain Calm
One recalls one’s own
indiscretions
and unicorns in the air
when one’s daughter walks
through the door
with a headful of purple hair.
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Russel Winick: The Long-Time Acquaintances
I know two guys I’ve found so cool
Since meeting them in middle school.
Good cheer is all they ever spout,
I’ve never seen them show self-doubt.
Their moods unfailingly seem swell.
I cannot know them very well.
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Pat D’Amico: Electrical Storm
The power is out, the TV’s kaput.
The house is all dark. I can’t see a foot
In front of my face to look for a coat
To warm up my bones – and here I must note:
Tomorrow is doomed. The problems loom large
Because of the car that’s failing to charge.
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Philip Kitcher: Pedestrian Perils By The Hudson
Why don’t they just enjoy the ride?
Is it the thrill they’ve always felt,
Knocking ’em dead on Riverside?
Another scalp to grace the belt?
How many walkers does it take
Before a cyclist learns to brake?
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Michael R. Burch: The Humpback
The humpback is a gullet
equipped with snarky fins.
It has a winning smile:
and when it Smiles, it wins
as miles and miles of herring
excite its fearsome grins.
