Bruce McGuffin: The Platypus
The platypus is not a puss,
And also not a plat.
It’s nothing like a beaver
Although its tail is flat.
The truth be told I’m still not sure
What constitutes a plat*.
But I know platypi enough
To think they are not that.
*There are rumours concerning small
flat bottomed boats.
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Tony Dawson: Prudence
(If shooting children is your hobby
support the NRA’s gun lobby.)
My daughter Prudence is only five
and so to help her stay alive
when she goes off to school
or “to the front” and be real cool,
she packs a Browning Buck Mark
in case some psycho for a lark
decides to shoot up all the students.
He’ll have to reckon with my Prudence.
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Max Gutmann: Virginia Woolf’s Left Kidney
On Mrs. Woolf's left kidney sat a tiny purple dot.
She didn't know about it and it hurt her not a jot.
It never grew. It didn't migrate to another spot.
It didn't keep her up at night or make her earlobes hot
Or shout, "Hey, Gin! Tonight make Leonard sleep out on the cot!"
Or party with her birthmark and that nick her pinkie'd got.
Though critics cite its influence on Dalloway, that's rot;
What dopes have deemed that darn dot did, be certain it did not.
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Henry Stimpson: Know Better No Better
But there are also unknown unknowns–
the ones we don't know we don't know.
–Donald Rumsfeld
I didn’t know
enough to know
how much I didn’t know.
True: I didn’t know
that I didn’t know
that I didn’t know.
But now I know
what I can’t know.
Is that better? Dunno.
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Michael Swan: Second Teenage
Heading towards
my second childhood
I've reached teenage.
Either I don't talk for days
or I can't stop talking.
Take your choice.
As if you cared.
Nobody understands me.
I think I'll kill myself.
What's for supper?
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Benjamin Baum: Crumbs
I broke off a crumb from my heart
And with care set it down
As I’ve done every mile
Since I left you in town.
Unravelling my soul,
Like Ariadne’s thread
So you can find your way to me,
If I get too far ahead.
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Steven Kent: Easy To Remember
I quote Plato's Republic and Ari's First Cause,
The Decameron, Hamlet, and more,
Know the table of elements, Newton's three laws,
Ancient writings of sages galore,
Every president, pontiff, and potentate yet,
Plus the order they served in, and when.
And yet some things I strangely still seem to forget –
Darling, tell me your birthday again?
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Kathleen Beavers: Critical Purpose
Oh, someone tell me
if it's good,
I don't know what to think!
Is this a brilliant poem,
or so much wasted ink –
just prose cut up and pasted down,
some crafty poseur's joke?
And that's why poets starve, dear friends,
but no critic will die broke.
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Terese Coe: Bitcoin Bots
Bitcoin’s more secure than gold
because it doesn’t exist:
so said Bitcoin trader/bots.
As if it couldn’t be stolen. Whist!
If death were more secure than life
because it didn’t exist,
perhaps we would have heard from
the dead’s exclusive list.
When bots upgrade security,
will humans be dismissed?
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Alan Millichip: The Space Station
The space station’s great when seen from the ground,
Bright in the night sky and hurtling around;
The problems occur when you break a bit
And the part in stock is not the right fit;
Now’s when you realise you’re all alone,
No chance of replacement by van or drone;
You hope things work in another socket,
Or wait for the launch of the next scheduled rocket.
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Kathryn Jacobs: Rules, Adult-Style
(With thanks to Karla Kuskin, author of "Rules")
Do not jump on fads and fashions,
don’t conform to standards twice.
Change your work-clothes before dinner,
don’t defer to friends’ advice.
Never bathe because they say so,
never chat to be polite,
never smoke for ANY reason:
never think the boss is right.
And don’t listen to my dictum, better far to write your own.
Only half-way pay attention: make yourself the cornerstone.
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L. A. Mereoie: Birds Of A Feather?
“The Grackles (Gracula) have a knife-like
beak, naked behind, a fleshy tongue, and
legs fitted for walking.”
- Old American bird book
Here too they come, in roving bands,
But locals call them grockles
And feed them on the summer sands
Ice-cream and rock and cockles.
A likeness not to press too far
Lest prejudice be talking
And they of course, arrive by car
With legs not fit for walking.
