The day was hot, I thought a drink
Of water from the kitchen sink
Would hit the spot. I held a cup
Beneath the tap and filled it up.
But as I went to take a sip
I heard the kitchen faucet drip.
I turned the tap off, tight as tight,
Then changed the washer, but all night
That faucet dripped, and dripped some more
Much louder than a man can snore.
I even drove to Ace Hardware
And bought a brand-new faucet there.
The very best one that they had.
But still it dripped—it drove me mad
Until, at last, I was bereft
Of any hope that I had left.
The options that remained were few,
And all that I could think to do
Was, if I found someone to pay,
I’d sell the house and move away.
But everyone who heard the drip
Compared it to a sinking ship
And wouldn’t put their money down
For fear if they moved in, they’d drown.
At last, with nothing left to lose,
I bought a bomb and lit the fuse,
And blew that sink to smithereens—
An end that justified the means.
I searched and sifted through debris
That stretched as far as I could see
Until I found it lying there,
And as I stood and watched, I swear
That spiteful, crushed and mangled faucet sighed
And dripped one final drip before it died.