It’s before daybreak. I’m not a light sleeper,
I once slept through a fire. And again, I hear
loud banging at my bedroom window. No, not
The Raven, it’s a woodpecker. I run outside, make
pointless noises but I’m stuck in the thorny shrubs
and the bird is flying because that’s what birds do,
when I spot the holes in the shingles. I’m hoping
for a chemical solution, nothing lethal. But a guy
in the hardware store says that’s illegal, I need
a plastic owl from Amazon to scare off the bird.
Which is curious since my yard has a real owl.
It hoots all night or until three or four, which is
when the woodpecker starts (I do get a few hours.)
The fake ones are better than real, the guy says.
Which apparently is true if you’re a woodpecker.