If you, too, find nothing can so much appal
as wasting an afternoon daubing a wall
with streaked smears of Dulux or Farrow and Ball,
take heart! I've a way of avoiding it all.
If the brushes you need have gone solid and stiff
since you used them five years ago – maybe; or if
the paint, once you've opened the can, isn't what
your wife now insists that you ought to have got;
or if your first brush-strokes look instantly less
like a smooth vinyl silk than a thick Eton Mess;
or ten minutes after you've started you're sure
there's less paint on the wall than there is on the floor;
admit it's a pastime to which you're unsuited,
that failure's a habit that's far too deep-rooted.
Find a bin, take the paint and chuck every last can in.
And, hang the expense of it. Just get a man in.