Will you walk a little faster said the Walrus when we met,
You’re quite a goer, Lizzie, and you’re up for it, I bet!
You’ve travelled far from Longbourn, let us walk along the sand;
I’m a Walrus, not a Beatle, but I want to hold your hand.
So kind of you to dine with me – I know an oyster-bed,
A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk and you will be well-fed.
Said I, a seafood allergy will mean I must decline –
A roast, he said, or fricassee, and then you would be mine?
I weigh two thousand kilograms, I’m fighting fit and strong,
I have the finest tusks: indeed, they must be three feet long –
Said I, although your tusks are fine, I seek a mate more classy,
He may be proud and haughty, yet I’ll try my luck with Darcy.