Joan Butler - Spring Kleening

The time of year brings round the dreary chore;

A magic wand to wave is all I ask!

I hurry to the local supastore

To seek what best might mitigate the task.

Here lies the longed-for magic! Row on row,

Surpassing any skivvy’s wildest dream!

Here’s one to make my ancient saucepans glo,

Another guarantees my glass will gleem.

So eezee, kwik and worri-free it sounds,

It’s sure to cost a mint of money. What?

The valu-paks will save me £s and £s?

Then, thank you very much, I’ll take the lot.

How brite! How kleen! How fresh the house is smelling!

The spell is cast. A shame about the spelling.


(SPRING KLEENING first appeared in the Literary Review)