Andy Jackson - If I Am Not Completely Satisfied I Will Return the Goods Within 14 Days and I Will Owe Nothing


This is your consuming conscience
Speaking through your letterbox
Free quotation, no obligation
Double glazed with childproof locks
Here subscription, there subscription
Last chance now at knockdown price
Art is cheap and art is sexy
Reader’s Digest? That looks nice!

You could be that special person
Someone somewhere has to win
Here’s a quid to prove we mean it
Here’s a bank to keep it in
How the cost of wanting spirals
How the cost of having falls
Krugerrands and china thimbles
Keep them warm with cavity walls

Guarantees in bold italics
Soothing, smirking, insincere
Visa, cheques or postal orders
Self-addressed, affix stamp here
Have you problems with your memory?
Are you bald and long for hair?
Have you seen our latest brochure?
You will find a solace there.