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Small Ads. from Shakespeare  

“Danish gravedigger, raking over old ground,
seeks body to match funny head he’s found.”

 “Whole bloody kingdom to exchange, perforce,
with anyone who has a rapid horse.”

“Three Scottish vivisectionists will sell
old cauldron cheaply due to lingering smell.”

“Wanted : a bear to close Act 3, Scene 3 with frantic chase.
Must be slow and toothless -- just in case!”

“Asp, used only once, complete with basket and sad tale.
Late owner now in casket.  Hence Executors’ Sale.”

“Roman Emperor, chief of all the very greatest,
seeks Senators for genuine friendship -- by Ides of March at latest.”