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We in the Neanderthal Independence Party (NIP) feel threatened by Homo sapiens.
They may cause our lives not to have happy ends.

The Neanderthal Independence Party says we are culturally unique
Though we’re a little  low-brow and evolutionarily weak.

We have more grass roots supporters than Neanderthal Labour’s
And we’ll try to reduce casual sex with our neighbours.

The Neanderthal Health Service (the great NHS)
Will be sold off for bearskins so we can address

The privatisation of everything that moves,
That’s mammoths and bison and all animals with hooves.

We Neanderthals must all club together
And not cave in to this inclement weather.

And despite clear evidence of widespread global cooling
The Neanderthal Independence Party has just made a ruling

That the Ice Age is not really taking place.
We think climate change believers are a Neanderthal disgrace.

We in NIP believe we do not have a future with Europe.
We also believe that we do not have a rhyme with Europe.

We are proud descendants of Homo erectus. Our spears will protect us.
It’s in our prospectus. We trust you’ll elect us.

So please vote for NIP. We’re the best human species.
It’s not true we’re full of buffalo faeces.

We hope you support us and can confidently say
That you’ll have a future in someone else’s DNA.