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May I remind you, cats were known as gods
in Egypt. That means worship, being adored.
It does not mean - repeat, NOT MEAN - you sods,
my every want being laughed at or ignored.

I'm bored with floors. It's time I had that chair,
the one you're squatting in so selfishly.
It has a magisterial, throne-like air;
perfect for someone with a pedigree.

Now, food. Those supermarket brands (both dry
and tinned) are indescribable: fresh fish
or chicken's what I want, and NOW! Don't try
me with stale scraps from some strange foreign dish.

And finally, to hygiene: you're not clean.
As Eny Kittin Kno, a thorough bath
means licking EVERYWHERE. It's not obscene.
I demonstrate, but all you do is laugh.

Ivory. Black and white cat