Steven Croft: Hey, Simon & Garfunkel
Lend me your Nikon camera
to make a color panorama
all the green dresses of summer
the soft blue skies above her
Lend me your sweet imagination
your harmonies of persuasion
to make a rainbow bridge of bright
troubled waters turned crystal light
♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣
Beverly Stock: The Caddy Boy
The caddy boy to the game has gone,
On the local course you'll find him.
His father's iron he has girded on
And his putter slung behind him.
"Trap of sand!", groaned the golfer, barred,
"Though water too betrays me.
Ten greens at least such perils guard,
No hopeful coach shall praise me."
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Robin Helweg-Larsen: Agenda For A Political Career
Help the peaceniks
With their cut-backs
To the Army,
It’s fulfilling;
Once elected,
Buy cheap arms stocks,
Start a war and
Make a killing.
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Elizabeth Horrocks: Off The Scales
The bass or bass
I often face
When in the choir.
Though I sing higher.
The bass or bass,
Evades, alas,
My hook when fishing
Despite my wishing.
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Bruce McGuffin: Dante’s Wombat
Dante Gabriel Rossetti
Kept a wombat for a pet, he
Showed it off to all his friends who
Said "we want a wombat pet too"
When the wombat's life came unstuck
He replaced it with a woodchuck.
Dante displayed with aplomb that
Funny little ersatz wombat.
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Alex Steelsmith: Legion Heirs
Biggily-wiggily,
Emperor Hadrian
put up a barrier
daunting and steep.
Now it’s a rubble-heap
uncontroversially
guarded by nothing but
legions of sheep.
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Nina Parmenter: Health on the Shelf
Oh, sell me a shiny new diet -
I’m a martyr to matters of health!
Whether FODMAP or fasting, I’ll try it –
I have all the right books on my shelf!
I’ve tried going carb-less, then meatless,
Tried protein and greens but no fat,
A friend of mine told me, “Just eat less!”
Yeah, right, – where’s the book about that?!
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Mary Cresswell: Grand Tour
Roman steps are shallow and sunny
leading down to the famous fountain.
We brush aside losers who ask for money.
Our golden footsteps echo like sunny
tastes of wine and roses and honey
waiting for us at each fresh encounter.
We are golden, shallow and sunny.
Stand aside while we piss in the fountain.
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Allen Ireland: Nietzsche
Reading Nietzsche at 30,000 feet
In a window-seat, pausing now and then
To look at clouds, or listen to the pilot
Speak over Zarathustra once again:
“Headwinds . . . tailwinds . . . turb over the Rockies . . .”
Oh who could be happy or safe as I? −
Reclined, with two all-seeing gods to teach me,
Reading Nietzsche, and flying high.
♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣
Pat D’Amico : A Walking Billboard
There used to be some mystery
About each fellow human:
His hobby picks, his politics,
His level of acumen.
Now to find what’s on his mind,
It takes no expertise.
We only need to stop and read
His views in T-shirt-ese.
(First published in The Wall Street Journal)
