Max Gutmann: Restoration Clerihew
Samuel Pepys
Is worth the study of anyone who keeps
A diary; the first step is
Learning not to call him Samuel Pepys.
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Peter Johnson: Inspiration
(With apologies to W.W. and W.B.Y)
It was bliss to wake up in that dawn
and I eagerly greeted the morn.
I leapt out of bed
with a rhyme in my head
and a terrible limerick was born.
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Chris O’Carroll: Disturbance in the Force
Afterlife Jedi pals
Yoda and Obi-wan
Toasted a host of new
Stories to tell:
‘Here’s to the franchise’s
Skywalkerectomy!
Let spinoffs spin till the
Freezing of hell.’
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Jim King: Roundness Is All
A heretical ex-Cantabridgian
concocted a novel religion.
Although deemed audacious
His creed was curvaceous
As he worshipped all forms callipygian.
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L.A. Mereoie: Proviso
A plump roadkill pheasant
Makes a good Christmas present
If the plumage is off
As the plucking’s unpleasant.
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Julia Griffin: Marinating
There once was a Person from Porlock,
Who longed for a bolt or a door lock
To guard him against
The confessions dispensed
By a Mariner groomed like a warlock.
His speech, besides toothless and slurred,
Was judged by the Person absurd:
And it seems that the crew
Took a similar view,
From the fact that they gave him the bird.
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John Wood: Trunk Call
Trumpily clumpily
Nellie the elephant
Nightly, politely
Her audience thrills.
Hearing a summons, she
Anthropomorphically
Packs her belongings and
Takes to the hills.
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Tom Schmidt: Hai
abbreviations
characteristically
disappoint, like Feb.
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L.A. Mereoie: Dram And Blast
A stalker, whose intake of drink
Had left his wits poised on the brink,
Fired his rifle one day
At a beast which, they say,
Had no antlers, but tusks, and was pink.
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Max Gutmann: Warm Welcome
Flyery highery,
Jolly St. Nicholas
Soars to your chimney, a
Bringer of cheer.
Do keep the fireplace
Nonoperational;
Please, no repeat of what
Happened last year.
