( A sampling of clinical data concerning
thespian stress in the days of full-frontal
realism or treading the boards in the buff,
formatted in Basiclear for the University
of Neopardy's ageing computers.)
Ice Cold in Eden
One former performer recalls
Acting Adam in chill village halls.
The result was thick hair
Where previously bare
And fully retractable . . .
Anatomy of Melancholy
A pantomime’s curtain once rose
On a Twankey without dress or hose
Who flashed more than his eyes
To earn gasps of surprise
And the nickname thenceforth ‘Parson’s Nose’.
Personal Development
Though alarmingly under-endowed
A student refused to be cowed
But mastered the arts
Of enhancing small parts
And now wins applause, standing proud.
Occupational Hazard
A snag about birthday suit scenes
With a female lead just past her teens
Was the star’s mounting tension
Which required intervention
By medical staff behind screens.
Role Muddle
Godiva, in property locks,
Told a prompter, whose conduct still shocks,
‘You are paid to supply
Us with lines when we dry,
Not to play Peeping Tom from your box!’