Lighten Up Online

The quarterly light verse webzine

Daniel Galef: An American Dialogue

I can’t believe you stubbed your toe while getting out of bed!
It’s awful that you stumbled back and worse, you hit your head.
I saw the traffic on the Eight—I’m awed that you’re alive!
Of course, I wouldn’t know, because—you’re kidding? Fifty-five?
That isn’t even speeding! No, I know, who’d disagree?
And when you got to work—now, as I said, this isn’t me—
That project wasn’t due until tomorrow! What a jerk!
It’s simply shocking all the things one must endure at work.
They just chuck out your human rights when you walk in the room,
Which hasn’t got four walls! (From what you said, so I assume.)
No mortal’s ever suffered so since Jonah, Job, and Eve.
You mean he simply took it? From the fridge? That bastard Steve!
That’s almost criminal! I can’t decide what’s worse: Those hours,
Or making up for getting home late with a bunch of flowers.
I know, she doesn’t understand, they never do, you know.
And not enough days off to make it worth your while to go!
She’ll come around, of course. Why, no, I didn’t know she snores.
I haven’t one, myself. You wish you spent more time outdoors?
I do get plenty of fresh air—that is, fresh air and rain.
Compared to you, though? Wow! I guess I really can’t complain.
My boss? He’s pretty easy, but I wish he paid me more.
Aruba? No, it’s ages since I’ve been down to the shore.
So when it comes to troubles, I can’t say I haven't any.
But enough about me; back to you! And could you spare a penny?

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