Michael Swan: Redundancies
In the latest round of rationalisations
it has been decided
that the responsibilities formerly assigned
to the four evangelists
can now be adequately performed by two.
Matthew, Mark, Luke and John
have therefore been invited to reapply
for the remaining posts.
At a higher level
the merging or elimination of some roles
cannot be avoided.
The Saints Division
has been abolished,
and the Nine Choirs of Angels
are to be reduced to four.
Martin Luther and Henry VIII
have been brought on board
as joint Change Management Facilitators,
while Lucifer takes over
as Head of Compliance
As for the Trinity
a cost-benefit analysis has made it clear
that there is substantial duplication of resources
at this level of administration,
leaving scope for considerable savings.
Christ has been invited to take early retirement,
and the exact function of the Holy Spirit
is undergoing reassessment.
Discussions with God the Father