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Jerome Betts: Madrid Memorandum

¿Noche Buena? Big meal (Christmas Eve).
¿And Vieja? Hear chimes and receive
    Twelve grapes you must swallow.
    Six days later there follow
Los Reyes, with presents to leave.

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Max Gutmann: Classical Bake-Off

Hackery-snackery,
Titus Andronicus,
Quick with his sword and for
Honor quite keen,

Also developed some
Startling advancements in
Nonvegetarian
Roman cuisine.

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Peggy Verrall: The Bright Side

I like the occasional grey day,
A no need to go out and play day
When I can lie in
And not feel it a sin
On a just laze around my own way day!

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Jake Murel: Dirty Dancing

To dance like Patrick Swayze
Is no feat for the lazy;
It’ll all go astray
Without Jennifer Grey.

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L. A. Mereoie: The Rub Of The Grain

‘Drunken behaviour spoils genteel sport
of crown green bowling.’ − The Guardian

Barley wine and best Scotch, both of these,
Made a bowler’s nose turn deep cerise.
    His partner said, “Cope
    With bias and slope?
He can’t see the woods for DTs!”

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Max Gutmann: The Beast Within

Growlery-scowlery
Richard the Lionheart's
Huge, fiery heart would ex-
Plosively roar.

Whether the reason was
Gastrointestinal's
Something historians
Ought to explore.

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Julia Griffin: Elementary, My Dear Attenborough

Pit-a-pat! Pit-a-pat! . . . Poof! Poof! Poof!
What on earth is that sound in the roof?
There's a pipe, very hot,
Where a mouse's feet trot
Which it blows on to cool them, you goof.

Mouse showing feet