Shall I compare thee to an azure sea?
The Leisure Centre pool yet has its charms:
A morning swim gives life and health to me,
Defends me from senility, tones my arms.
Hark, who comes here? A bulging Speedo male
Who strides towards the pool, the ugly knave.
His belly smacks the water, like a whale
He thunders past, creates a tidal wave.
The prying chlorine scours my nose and eyes,
And I am sunk, undone and all but drowned.
Will the callow, pimpled lifeguard heed my cries?
Will my limp and lifeless body e’er be found?
So long as men may thrash through indoor pools,
So long will women curse them, witless fools.