Especially after seven halves of cider,
even if you feel distinctly brave,
beware of men who say they fly hang gliders.
Any girl can feel the urge inside her
snogging some pissed pilot, name of Dave,
especially after seven halves of cider.
Go out and find yourself a dispatch rider,
a knuckle dragging eejit from a cave.
Beware of men who say they fly hang gliders.
Soon the gap between you will grow wider,
you'll be his baton bunny and his slave,
especially after seven halves of cider.
And each weekend you'll be his retrieve driver
you'll learn the cloud names, cumulus and wave.
Beware of men who say they fly hang gliders.
Take the word of one who's an insider,
and knows how airborne idiots behave.
Especially after seven halves of cider,
beware of men who say they fly hang gliders.