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Recession-busting tips? At last
my life's le dernier cri:
lagging and darning, thermal vests -
the world's caught up with me.

The Guardian rolled for kindling bricks,
cheap tariffs on the phone,
the thermostat set grimly low:
I've come into my own.

A shaving here, a saving there -
and suddenly I'm smart,
with home-made Christmas wreaths and swags
re-classified as 'art'.

And shopping as a pastime? That
defies all common sense.
'Tis use alone, as Pope once wrote,
doth sanctify expense.