Welcome, Bay Watch babe, to my humble aisle.
I’m all you could want in a fantasy lover,
bare-chested, brawny, here on this Harlequin cover
in my low-rise jeans, Stetson, and bad-boy smile.
I can tell you’re special, a discerning buyer.
Wouldn’t you like to take me home? Hey,
where are you going? Why are you walking away?
I swear I can scratch your every desire.
Uh-oh, who’s this, eyeing me like I’m dessert?
That cat sweater should be outlawed. OMG!
Don’t let this grandma be reaching for me.
Someone, anyone, please help me find my shirt.