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He flashmobbed his proposal
and she proudly said ‘I do’
as saxophonists on Segways
played the solo from ‘Will You?’

The Kickstarter for the wedding
was so successful that
it paid for a nice honeymoon
and the deposit on a flat.

(The monthly interest payments –
an eye-watering amount –
were largely taken care of
by their Patreon account.)

Instagram’s new server farm
crashed when the triplets came,
and Etsy sweatshops scrambled
to cash in on their fame.

Then the rumours started
on Popbitch first, then Gawker,
and her AMA on Reddit
turned out to be a corker.

Her memoir launched on Unbound,
and was funded overnight.
His went straight to Kindle
where it plummeted from sight.