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A 1994 red Plymouth Sundance car

The one significant shortcoming about
This car that causes scorn?
In the entire history of automobiles, it
Has (by far) the worst horn.

Being afraid to beep it is nothing short
Of exasperating —
The horn on your first bike was much
More intimidating.

I live in the Los Angeles area. Millions of
People all over town are
In manly vehicles, but I’m stuck behind
The wheel of a clown car.

You can’t give a teen a honk that says, “Slow
Down! You’re causing stress, bub!”
When your horn sounds like a “Yoo-hoo” from
The faculty adviser of the chess club.

You can’t get reckless jaywalkers’ attention
To show displeasure with them
If the only noise that your horn is packing
Is a timid and tiny, “Ahem.”

If you see me someday driving around L.A.
Beep a hello as you go by
And when I wave (without beeping back)
Now you know exactly why.