I should’ve known it wouldn’t work, I always wanted more.
He was handsome, tall and dark and I was 5 foot 4.
I knew about the other one, he told me from the start;
He liked us both he said to me but wouldn’t give his heart.
Perhaps December would tell all, the festive season due,
Our first gifts to each other when feelings might show true.
I scanned the Cosmo magazines, as Christmas Day drew near,
His present must be ‘personal, but special, not too dear’,
And I, in turn, dropped many hints that Rive Gauche was my fave.
Yes, pricey, but with weeks to go he had some time to save.
Finally our date arrived, anticipation high.
We had a meal, then back to his; the truth was almost nigh,
A silk tie – yes REAL SILK – but no, he didn’t realise that
So I gaily pointed out to him it wasn’t cheap old tat.
He liked the chocolates – posh liqueurs (a bargain, down a third)
But I suspect he gave them to his other festive bird.
The moment I’d been waiting for, his Christmas gift to me.
I really thought beneath the wraps that Rive Gauche it would be;
The smell was there but, somehow, it didn’t feel quite right;
The box sat heavy in my hand, a perfume would be light.
As I unwrapped my present I knew there was no hope –
It was my favourite scent, but in a wretched bar of soap!